The problem with a lot of us is that we like to save people.
We like the idea of being someone's hero-- someone's "saving grace," "truest friend," "rock," what ever you want to call it. We like the idea of someone needing us, needing our help, needing our presence in their life-- it's nice to be recognized and to be needed. We want to be the person someone remembers fondly as they think of their hardship and of your help and loyalty through it all. We are a social kind, we look after each other, it's just the way life is. Unfortunately, this can become a great downfall.
You watch a friend dive off the dock into the deep end, the storm is coming and the waves are getting high, it's instinct to jump in after them and haul their sorry butt back to shore. But it doesn't always work like that. Truth is, the both of you can only tread water for so long. Soon enough, your friend may be clinging to you for their own survival, and what then? Bottom line, you can't hold someone up without getting your own head wet.
The fact is, there is only one person who can "save" us and He already has. Jesus Christ's atonement has "saved" us all. (I put the word saved in quotations because I do not believe in the idea that there is one instance on one day in your whole life when you feel close to God and He "saves" you and then you never have to worry about it again. Being "saved" is a continual process of trial and hardship and repentance.) Our loving Savior is there every time we are in deep waters, not just once or sometimes. Always.
All that's left is for us to decide we want to be saved, which I plainly admit is a difficult thing. In times of deep despair we may look up and see the light at the end of the tunnel and want it so bad it hurts but then feel hopeless because it's just so very far and we are in such deep tumultuous waters (we may even feel a little pride in our strength for treading water for this long, what's a few more minutes?). But quite frankly: there is no storm our Savior cannot brave (or calm for that matter). So let Him.
This is not to say that I believe heroics are a bad thing, they most certainly are not. And it is not to say that we should abandon our efforts all together and watch those we love disappear in the storm. I was raised to believe that we should always help our fellow men, and we should. I believe that we have a moral obligation to help those in need of our expertise. Service has a way of helping us feel fulfilled and worthwhile. Like I said, we are a social people, we look out for each other, we need each other, that's just the way life is.
I know I'm sounding contradictory here, so I'll try to make this clear: I'm talking about dependance. A simple act of heroics (if there is such a thing as a simple act of heroics) is not bad, helping people is good, wonderful, fantastic! (And if you ever encounter a situation where someone is literally drowning in front of you, by all means, jump in and pull them to safety!) However, when someone becomes dependent on you to continually exhaust yourself in "saving" them, we have a problem. When someone doesn't really want to be saved, there isn't much we can do. Yes, we ought to try, never abandon our efforts to help someone in need. But in the end, that is all we can do. Try. Make an effort. We ought to keep in mind that we cannot "save" anyone else all by ourselves. The choice to change is up to each individual on their own accord. we cannot and will never be able to change someone no mater how hard we try, how valiant our efforts, or good our intentions.
To those of you who think you are strong enough to brave the waves and the storm, to those who think they can save a friend, family member, or lover, I plead with you to stay safely where you are. Please do not go diving into dangerous waters. Perhaps instead of trying to "save" someone all by yourself, give them the choice, opportunity, and tools to get help from the proper source. Where ever you are in life, dipping your toes in the water, swimming out to save a friend, or in the eye of the storm, please remember that there is One who can walk over dangerous waters, One who is strong enough, One who can help you (and those you love and worry for). He alone can help and heal you and those you care for, but that choice is ultimately up to each individual.
Know that there is never a place too far or too deep, there is never a place Christ cannot reach.
Best wishes,
Marley
P.S. I have really tired to refrain from sharing my religious views on the Internet, not because I am ashamed of my beliefs, but because I worried about others judging me and/or causing contention... But I think those days are over. My apologies if you disagree or are offended, that is my last intention.
You watch a friend dive off the dock into the deep end, the storm is coming and the waves are getting high, it's instinct to jump in after them and haul their sorry butt back to shore. But it doesn't always work like that. Truth is, the both of you can only tread water for so long. Soon enough, your friend may be clinging to you for their own survival, and what then? Bottom line, you can't hold someone up without getting your own head wet.
The fact is, there is only one person who can "save" us and He already has. Jesus Christ's atonement has "saved" us all. (I put the word saved in quotations because I do not believe in the idea that there is one instance on one day in your whole life when you feel close to God and He "saves" you and then you never have to worry about it again. Being "saved" is a continual process of trial and hardship and repentance.) Our loving Savior is there every time we are in deep waters, not just once or sometimes. Always.
All that's left is for us to decide we want to be saved, which I plainly admit is a difficult thing. In times of deep despair we may look up and see the light at the end of the tunnel and want it so bad it hurts but then feel hopeless because it's just so very far and we are in such deep tumultuous waters (we may even feel a little pride in our strength for treading water for this long, what's a few more minutes?). But quite frankly: there is no storm our Savior cannot brave (or calm for that matter). So let Him.
This is not to say that I believe heroics are a bad thing, they most certainly are not. And it is not to say that we should abandon our efforts all together and watch those we love disappear in the storm. I was raised to believe that we should always help our fellow men, and we should. I believe that we have a moral obligation to help those in need of our expertise. Service has a way of helping us feel fulfilled and worthwhile. Like I said, we are a social people, we look out for each other, we need each other, that's just the way life is.
I know I'm sounding contradictory here, so I'll try to make this clear: I'm talking about dependance. A simple act of heroics (if there is such a thing as a simple act of heroics) is not bad, helping people is good, wonderful, fantastic! (And if you ever encounter a situation where someone is literally drowning in front of you, by all means, jump in and pull them to safety!) However, when someone becomes dependent on you to continually exhaust yourself in "saving" them, we have a problem. When someone doesn't really want to be saved, there isn't much we can do. Yes, we ought to try, never abandon our efforts to help someone in need. But in the end, that is all we can do. Try. Make an effort. We ought to keep in mind that we cannot "save" anyone else all by ourselves. The choice to change is up to each individual on their own accord. we cannot and will never be able to change someone no mater how hard we try, how valiant our efforts, or good our intentions.
To those of you who think you are strong enough to brave the waves and the storm, to those who think they can save a friend, family member, or lover, I plead with you to stay safely where you are. Please do not go diving into dangerous waters. Perhaps instead of trying to "save" someone all by yourself, give them the choice, opportunity, and tools to get help from the proper source. Where ever you are in life, dipping your toes in the water, swimming out to save a friend, or in the eye of the storm, please remember that there is One who can walk over dangerous waters, One who is strong enough, One who can help you (and those you love and worry for). He alone can help and heal you and those you care for, but that choice is ultimately up to each individual.
Know that there is never a place too far or too deep, there is never a place Christ cannot reach.
 |
| (Matt 14: 30-31) |
Best wishes,
Marley
P.S. I have really tired to refrain from sharing my religious views on the Internet, not because I am ashamed of my beliefs, but because I worried about others judging me and/or causing contention... But I think those days are over. My apologies if you disagree or are offended, that is my last intention.
Great thoughts, Marley. I agree! Knew a woman once who wanted to save a man so badly, she married him. Didn't work out so well. (Oh, and I think sharing your religious views on the internet is a lovely idea.)
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